Everyone wants a relationship but not many people understand how much effort it takes to make relationships work. Busy schedules, different commitments, self-interests, and personal preferences are some of the reasons why it’s not easy to make relationships work.
A lot of us think getting ourselves into a relationship is hard but that’s far from the truth. Getting into a relationship is the easiest thing to do although no one wants to get themselves into an unhappy relationship or one that ends in a few months or even after a few years. Every one of us wants a relationship that will make us happy and last a lifetime.
Whether you are in your first serious relationship, you are a pro at handling relationships or you have been in a relationship for a while and wondering what’s going to keep it lasting, try these;
5 secrets to sustain, strengthen and make relationships work
1. Communication, Communication, Communication
Good relationships just cannot be sustained without communication. This is the foundation of any relationship. If you cannot talk to your other half about what’s going on in your life, then there is something missing between the two of you.
Communication leads to understanding, communication leads to sharing, communication leads to being open with each other, communication builds trust and communication lead to intimacy. It’s all about communication.
Communication is not only sitting across each other and talking for a few hours. Today, technology makes communication easier than ever before.
There are a variety of ways to stay in touch regardless of where you are in the world. This is the first foundation when you are working towards fixing your relationship. Have you noticed how two people who have just started a relationship are always communicating with each other? All this communication only makes them closer and end up not getting enough of each other.
2. Cultivate a Relationship That’s Based on Friendship
Friendships are one of the best relationships of all. When you are friends with someone, somehow everything about the relationship just becomes easy.
Groaning to your friend about your lousy day, the moment you hear good news, you just can’t wait to tell your friend about it. When something frustrates you, or you are seeking ways to fight loneliness, sometimes all you need is to let it out to your friend.
One of the major reasons why friendships are so easy to handle is because it doesn’t come with a long list of expectations. As a friend, you immediately fall into a supportive role and always look for ways to make each other happy.
When you start a relationship based on friendship, you are building one of the strongest bonds with another person.
3. Respect Each Other & Each Other’s Lives
There is no one who is superior to another. Even in a relationship. Each person is different, each person is special in their own way.
Every one of us has likes, dislikes, and preferences that are unique to us. Understanding and respecting these differences are important. On top of this, there is another part of this equation that we need to understand. Each one of us has a life of our own before we entered a relationship.
We have our family, friends, interests, work or school, colleagues, schoolmates, sports, music, books and many other areas of our life that we have built over the years. If we can understand and respect this part of ourselves and our partner’s, it would go a long way to sustain any relationship.
In a relationship, it’s more than just knowing how to respect each other. It’s also about respecting each other’s lives.
4. Spend Time on Your Own & Away From Each Other
As much as spending time with each other is important, so is spending time away from each other. That doesn’t make much sense, does it? But it does.
Always being together and doing everything together may be fun and exciting in the beginning but after some time, it starts to feel like a chore. Once a while, do things with your own family and friends. Spend time on your own reading, listening to your favorite music or playing your favorite video games.
When your relationship allows you to have your own time and time for your family and friends, you will only appreciate this relationship even more. Taking time away from each other will make you miss each other and you will be looking forward to spending time together again.
Allowing each other to have time away from the relationship is important as it helps to build trust in any relationship.
5. Being in The Moment When Together
If you were to watch couples spending time together, how many of them are not holding a handphone, a laptop, fiddling with their smartwatches or other gadgets?
How many of you go to dates, movies or dinner with your other half and leave your phones at home?
When you are at home with your other half, are you busy working on your laptop, busy playing your favorite video game or crazily replying WhatsApp messages from your best friend while trying to keep up with your partner?
Somehow, with all the challenges that already exist to make relationships hard to sustain, technology has become the 3rd person in all relationships. When you are spending time with your loved one, be in the moment with them. Try to control your wandering thoughts to focus on the good.
Cherish the time together, create memories that will last a lifetime, be grateful for the person next to you and above all else, make them feel appreciated.
Giving your time and focus is the best way to show how much you appreciate them and appreciate the relationship that you have.
IN THE END
Relationships are hard. It’s as simple as that. If you want to make relationships work, then be prepared to put in the time, energy and effort to grow and sustain it. Relationships are not a given.
They are not like family where you are born into one and already come connected to each other. Relationships are different. It is created by us. How we define it, describe it and want to sustain it is entirely up to us.
Relationships also come in pairs. It’s not about what one party wants and only meeting one person’s relationship goals. It works both ways.
When two people can understand this, and use these foundational rules as relationship tips, be assured any relationship will strive and flourish.