Nothing can come as a more devastating blow to a happily married life than infidelity. When the mere idea of a cheating spouse can be so painful, just imagine the plight of a husband or a wife who finds it to be actually true. As the reality dawns upon the suffering partner, the world turns topsy-turvy as despair and hopelessness slowly creeps in.
It is, however, hard to believe that such out-of-the-world realizations still occur in present times as the high paced growth of technology has made it possible to virtually monitor every aspect of the lives of your near and dear ones, at times without their knowledge.
Even when one has no access to any technology, human brain itself is naturally wired to detect, predict and guide you towards illuminating the darker realities. It senses impalpable changes in human behavior and tells you when something is just not right.
As intimate as the relation between a husband and wife is, it is not very difficult to catch a cheating spouse especially when it is accompanied by some subtle signs and ensuing vibes of adultery. You should pay attention to these signs and your instinct, but remember that they are just clues and you should not confuse them with proof.
You can sense cheating in the air by keeping your eyes and ears open and watching if your spouse is doing some or all of these things:
Signs that your spouse might be cheating on you
1. Behavior that your spouse simply fails to explain
Has your partner ever failed to explain certain situations? Like what took him so long to get back home from work? Do you feel that there are missing slots of time that he can’t account for? Does he/she feels lost and blank when it comes to adding up your monthly expenses?
Do you feel your partner has started keeping little things from you like a visit to a friend’s place or prefers to keep his/her lips pursed about certain things until you discover them on your own? Has your partner started spending more and more time with his/her own self with little or no regrets about avoiding you and the kids?
If you feel that your relationship with your partner has gradually wandered off into strange terrains and things are never the same way as they used to be, it can be a red flag that your spouse may be cheating on you
2. Secretive phone calls and online conversations
Does your partner suddenly hangs up as you enter the room or he/she suddenly leaves the room to attend an important phone call? Does your spouse makes sure that his/her phone is locked all the time? Is he/she spending more and more time online sometimes into the late hours of the night?
Are mood swings becoming common? Is someone being meticulous enough to wipe out all browsing history as well as all call and message logs? Is your partner’s phone always busy when you call him/her during the day?
Secrecy and anxiety are key symptoms of an ongoing affair. Over engagement on social media and over the phone may point towards an extramarital activity.
But even if that’s not your bid, suspicious behaviour as this is sufficient to call for a serious explanation. Paying attention to his/her calling habits including the frequency of calls, the tone of voice used and the time of the day at which most of the calls take place can tell a lot about any new relations being tied.
3. Look for narcissism
Do you feel that your partner has suddenly become more conscious about his/her looks and personality? Are the bills on clothes and shoes increasing? Is a lot of time spent in front of the mirror? Has personal grooming hit the top of the list? Has social media activity suddenly soared with comments and appreciations pouring in?
Over-interest in one’s appearance and too much love for one self along with all its associated symptoms is called ‘narcissism’. Though we all cherish the desire to look good, if it becomes more of an obsession, it’s time to look into the reasons for this compulsive behaviour.
Looking good is always coupled with receiving appreciation, sometimes from our own self but mostly from others. Narcissistic tendencies can be completely innocuous but if they are coupled with loss of family time and deliberate ignorance, they can be a warning sign that the attentions of your partner are centred upon somewhere else.
4. Compensatory behaviour to mask the underlying guilt
When we are guilty of doing something wrong, we normally try to hide it. To keep our partners or other family members from finding out the truth, a set of compensatory behaviors are adopted. Where other people may feel it as a positive change, you as a partner need to dig deeper than that.
Has your spouse become less annoying over a couple of months? Has he/she suddenly started doing things the way you have been yearning for years? Is he/she surprising you with gifts recently? Are you hanging out too frequently, enjoying quality family time?
It’s not time to be too happy yet. It may be a sweet disguise by your partner worn to divert your attentions from the reality. It could be an over pampering strategy designed to win your trust so that you would never believe the truth. It could be conscientious compensation offered to throw off feelings of guilt. Don’t be too excited by this sudden U-turn that your lives have taken. Your spouse maybe entertaining another relation behind your back.
5. Change in working habits
Has your husband/wife started going to office early or coming back late at night? Is he/she going out too frequently on business trips or office hangouts? Are some office assignments allegedly keeping him/her awake late into the night? Is the trip to the nearest grocery store or bank taking twice as much time as it is supposed to be?
Then definitely there is some mysterious activity going on in your spouse’s life that is devouring up unexplained lapses of time. You better be careful as this may indicate re-directed passion with time and energies being increasingly expended outside your marriage.
Every couple has its own set of disagreements over which they fight. It is actually the sign of a happy marriage, full of expectations, love and vitality. But if you feel that you are fighting too much or too less, it’s a warning bell that your marriage is in trouble.
If your spouse has started looking for excuses to pick up fights with you and nothing you do seems to please him/her in any way, it is a clear indication that they are emotionally over you. It is not necessarily a sign that they are engaged somewhere else, but definitely means that your relationship is taking its last breaths and that your spouse may eventually seek another form of partnership for emotional fulfilment.
On the other hand, if you feel that your spouse avoids responding to your temper tantrums and treats you with disinterest and indifference, where it can positively reduce the number of fights, it also create distances between you two that may be hard to bridge. The question is: If you are no longer the center of attention and interest, then who is?
7. Look out for changes in sexual behaviour
If your partner is cheating on you, it leaves its imprints on your sexual life. Your spouse may start losing interest in you sexually and may go without sex for days. If this is so, it may be due to one of the two reasons. Either he/she is going through some low phase in his/her life or they are getting their fill of emotional satisfaction from elsewhere. However, sometimes the opposite happens.
In order to justify for the malpractices and reduce the guilt factor, your partner may start asking for more intimacy and sex. Don’t be overwhelmed by this sudden sexual revolution as this could be just be a masking behaviour meant to hide an unlawful inclination.
8. Pay heed to your instincts
Your partner will obviously pretend to be the same person you married, but your instincts may tell you otherwise. Your spouse may try to make up for the infidelity by adopting pretentious, sometimes overly pleasing behavior to avert your attentions but what they fail to hide is the changing body language and cues emitted from a treacherous mind.
If your sixth sense tells you that something wrong is happening behind your back, don’t just shake it off your mind. Find your way through this maze by following the subtle signs and signals that you may find on the way.
Does your spouse feels and smells different? Is he/she trying to hide something? Are they spending too much money on new clothes they never wear at home or in front of you? Do you feel a sudden change in their social circles and hype about some new friendships? Is evasive behavior becoming common or your partner fails to make eye contact when he/she answers your questions?
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These and so many other hints can help you solve the mystery plotted by your partner. So, ALWAYS TRUST YOUR INTUITION as It can perceive things that your eyes can’t see.
Remember that even if your partner is engaged in the above-mentioned activities, it may only be an indication that they might be cheating upon you. But beware of rushing into confrontations on account of these signs alone. You need to investigate first, using whatever means you can lay your hands upon. If your doubts and suspicions are finally confirmed, then is the time to sit down with your partner, lay down the evidence on your table and ask for reasons. Any emotional outburst at such a time when your partner rates you low already is bound to make things worse. Always try to make your confrontations as less dramatic as you can, so as to achieve better results. Best of luck with your spying mission!