There are very few things I feel 90’s youth have as an advantage over the youth from 80’s. I still feel that ‘we’ being the 80’s souls had a much better and peaceful life. We can even claim that we had one hell of a ‘childhood’. Be it the choices of Cartoons or playing outdoor games like street cricket or having a gadget free life, we had so much to create memories. But there is one thing I feel- Today’s youth have an enormous edge over us and that came in the guise of ‘FACEBOOK’.
Facebook has eased so many things for today’s youth, one of them, in fact primary amongst all of them, is to approach your crush or love in just a click. What used to cost us thousands rupees of petrol per week, a talent to use landline without getting noticed by our parents, the courage to talk ‘face to face’ and lastly a ‘free SMS recharge’, now, merely takes a click on ‘Add as a friend’ to do the needful.
Though this still doesn’t guarantee you to secure a place in her massive friend list, but at least nobody can stop you to gaze her pictures. Back then, the only way we could see their pictures was either on their school ID or photographs from the annual functions. Facebook has really emerged as a blessing in disguise for the majority of people.
Nevertheless, most of the guys are still not utilising it properly while approaching a girl.
Though this generation has a complete ease of access to make the best use of the opportunity, but they are still lagging behind in utilizing it for ‘approaching-a-girl’. In general, for a person, accepting all those friend requests is a big NO. They prefer choosing who they might want to add and who should be out of the list!
For instance, out of the lot, 50% are blocked straight away, 30% are seated at the lone dark corner of the list, 15% end up commenting ‘nice picture’ or liking them mostly. Lastly, out of the remaining, the 4% makes it to her ‘BFF’ list or at least ‘just friend’, and the 1% might be the ‘special ones’ for her, provided they don’t get ‘friend-zoned’.
This is emerging as a headache for most of the guys. It’s a serious issue that should be handled wisely and calmly if they don’t want to take over a dead corner of her long friend list. I want to share some pro tips that should be considered while approaching a girl on Facebook.
Disclaimer: – These tips won’t come with a guarantee of giving you a major boost in your ranking to end up in the platinum 1%, but I assure you that it is more likely to catapult your chances of reaching out to golden 4%.
Here are the tips:
1. Audit your profile.
If your profile says “Dilawar – No time for love”, then do not wonder why do you get blocked by 99% of the girls. Your profile says everything about you. Try to keep it simple and clear. Your profile is a direct reflection of your personality. Do not go overboard liking the Ed-Sheeran page just because it’s cool, when your profile is full of “lagai le tu lipistickk” videos.
Also, don’t do tons of editing on your pictures, stop using those love or heart frames for your pictures. Out of all the major turn offs this tops them all.
Keep your profile as clean as possible and avoid meaningless updates or sharing ‘close to adult’ videos on your profile. Though if it pleases you and you still hope that the girl will shed clothes when you comment “9” in the box, surly you can do it often but while keeping your privacy setting on.
2. Keep bromance behind closed doors.
A big NO, NO!. Friendship is the greatest gift of life and we have all the reasons to adore it unless it starts overpowering your social profiles. Posting pictures, roaming around with them or even taking selfies by holding them close is also okay, but when your bromance starts capturing a lot of space in your album, it could be a problem for many to scroll through them.
Having few drinks on weekends, enjoying trekking with your friends and posting those pictures on Facebook is great. However, ‘you standing inch closer to your friend, giving pouts and captioning it with ‘Maah best friend’ followed by some hindi Sher-o-Shayari and a kiss smiley at the end, can make your profile look otherwise. Keep your bromance close to your heart but don’t let it pour out in your profile.
You might look cute to fake female profiles, but when a real girl with a real profile sees it, all she would want to do is, reach out to the ‘block option’ in her settings.
3. Don’t confuse it with tinder.
Chances are that you have arrived at a wrong URL. You might have wanted to type www.tinder.com but by mistake or ignorance, you landed on facebook.com, and now you are too lazy to retype so you finally start considering Facebook as tinder. However, if you really don’t understand the difference between the two and are too ignorant to use a different approach for both the platforms, then my friend, go brush up your knowledge first.
Don’t ever misuse Facebook as your tool to satisfy your sexual desires or cheap mentality. Never go overboard by texting abusive or wrong texts to any girl. Not only will your profile get reported, but you might also end up in jail, if a girl takes it to the Police.
I am not advocating that you should go to tinder for that purpose, but these things are more acceptable there, than on Facebook. And, if you are approaching the girl with pure, honest intentions and out of genuine fondness, then maintain a certain limit of decency, honesty and humanity in you.
4. Stop spams before she slams.
If your ‘Pro plan’ to get her attention by liking and commenting on every picture and almost all of her posts, then drop that idea before she starts considering you a spammer, or a stalker in extreme cases. You will get her attention, no doubt, but for all the wrong reasons.
Like or comment only on the pictures you genuinely adore, this way you will get a healthy attention. But, if you go far by commenting “Nice picture” “You are beautiful” on every picture she uploaded since the evolution of Facebook, then you are doing nothing but cutting down your chances from the root.
Nobody entertains a spammer. It’s good to maintain a wise balance. Girls love compliments, true! However, they are very wise enough to sense the genuineness of them. The moment they notice you are spamming their profile, they will sense it and that’s when you will lose all the credibility.
5. Awake your analytic genius.
My experience says a smooth conversation on the topics and things you both like and enjoy is the key to climb up a stair. This is one major reason where 90’s born struggle and we 80’s ones are benefitted at.
Don’t stress your mind with ‘why?’. The answer is simple, though we used to waste litres of petrol while roaming around them, this still gave us a chance to know them and notice them more closely. We could easily sense the expressions and joy on their face while they had panipuri or aalo tikka – Ohh! she loves pani puri. And this was not just about pani poori but other things too which made things easy for us to start a conversation, or to find things to keep going with the endless talks.
But, when it comes to virtual world like Facebook, it limits us from noticing and analyzing things, because most of the things here are virtual and just to show off. So, how to get to know the ‘real’ her and find the topics to talk about?
That’s where you have to bring out your analytic side and install it in your mind and eyes. Keep your eagle eyes sharp while you hunt to hit that 1% mark. Before approaching a girl analyze her profile carefully. Reach out to the pages she has liked, check her statuses to know what she loves to post about and how responsive is she with other’s posts. If you notice these small things, soon you will get to know what can woo her and can easily come up with so many topics to talk about. However, don’t take it to stalking levels, do it with healthy light mood intentions.
Do it much before to avoid crashing into the “Hmm, k” zone. This is a ‘No plantation’ zone and once you get there your chances will crash like a stock market. Only the daring ones have the power to get re-listed and to ‘keep-going’, but 80% chances are, once your vehicle goes off-road into the ‘hmm zone’, you will never find a road back again.
This is not exactly a ‘thing to consider’ but it’s just a silly tip I want to share with you guys. This might not be the best thing to do or that should be taken very seriously, but it works most of the time; at least it did for us in college. There are times, when our conversations will face a slow period, or when we are too shy to start a conversation or when we feel a simple ‘Hello” is too sober. In my own words, I call it a “Random-shock”.
All you have to do is text a random thing to her, obviously, it should make sense and should be decent.
For example – send her a message “Hey Preeti, I asked you not to give the textbook to Manav, but still you didn’t listen to me, you never listen to me”. There are few chances (close to 20%) that she will reply back with “Excuse me”, “Who Manav?” or something similar, and that’s the moment where you have to rock it and take the lead. Once you get the reply, you can go on with any silly excuse or can even pretend you had to send it to another Preeti and by mistake sent it to you blah blah!
All you have to do is keep your conversations going on after that. The goal is to grab attention and once you get it everything will depend on how wisely you play with it.
Now if you want to add any more things to the list, feel free to comment below.