How to get out of the friend zone fast | A comprehensive guide for men
If you are one of those millions permanent residents of ‘friends colony’, who are struggling to get out of the friend zone, then you must have come across :-
You are a “nice guy”, every girl on this planet would be immensely lucky to have you as her partner. BUT! I never felt for you more than a friend. *heartbreak*
After dinner, dates n’ lots of gifts and even after being “The Shoulder Man” to her, all you got in the end is; I am in love with someone else, BUT! You are my best friend, be with me always as you are too precious to lose my friend. *WTF-moment*
“I am in no mood for a relationship, my focus and priority is different right now, and as my best friend you need to respect and understand that”. And, being her “beeest friend” you pour all your understanding, only to find out in the end that she has started seeing some other guy. *Forever-dumb*
Living in your own dream castle; that she likes me too, and we both are on the same page. However, that’s not even near the reality. She might actually had never seen you as “more than a friend”, but you were too dolt to realize it. *Suicide*
And finally biggest F-bomb of the Fate:-
“No matter What happens, This special bond between us should never fade away, I want you to know that “I care”. BUT!! Let’s leave this on destiny. If it’s destined it will happen. Until then why to spoil this beautiful friendship we have. *Confused between- Awwww n’ Hawwww*.
Does it sound familiar?
Now is the time to grace the “half-dead zone” – a space to keep you ‘Alive enough to pin your hope, but hard to cope‘.
You are bound to give your selfless support and faith in this vulnerable zone, but never qualify as a potential partner for her.
She is inch-perfect to make you feel as the most special person in her life and her support system. And, you too fall in the line, responsibly reciprocating the same. But, when it comes to take the relation on to cloud nine, all you get is; “You are not the right choice for me. We are different, let’s just be friends”.
However at the end, if you still manage to pass these hurdles, then the Biggest ‘Sacrifice bomb’ hits you hard; “I don’t deserve a decent guy like you. I am not good enough; You deserve a better girl than me”.
Welcome to the “FRIEND ZONE”.
Before we proceed, first understand; what is friend zone?
A relation in which you over qualify and excel as a friend but do not fit-in as a partner. It’s a situation when one person wants a relationship but the other doesn’t.
You meet someone of the opposite sex, befriend her and fall for her, but she doesn’t feel this way. You still whirl around hoping “One Day” she will, but no matter how hard you try, you feel forever stuck in the friend zone. Here is the video explaining it the best:-
SOURCE:- Casually explained
Friend zone signs:-
She wants you around, when in low-spirited mood or when she wants to talk to somebody. She chooses you to share all her deep emotional talks, but when it comes to celebrating high spirits, you aren’t her first choice. *The Shoulder Man*.
She talks to you when she wishes to, not when you want to. She prefers doing things as per her comfort level without bothering about you. And, if it starts getting just about “her”, then…. I guess you are wise enough to understand.
When you keep on sprinkling your fondness and affection on her, but she always avoids it with no signs of ‘Interest’. She is least affected by everything you do and feel for her.
She doesn’t mind if you get friendly with other girls and is glad to hook you up with one of her friends. And, even after that, she leaves no traces of jealousy. It’s a clear sign she is not interested in you.
She avoids night time talks and always gives excuses for being busy with another stuff. When she starts responding with “hmmm” n “k” in reply to your texts and take longer to reply. It’s a very strong sign of the friend zone.
She doesn’t mind in showing interest in other guys even after knowing your feelings for her. And, she never entertains any interference in her life even if you are her “Beeeest friend”.
She avoids roaming out with you because she doesn’t want to give “wrong hints” to others. She never tells anyone about you and never introduces you to other close friends, irrespective of you being her “most special one”.
Starts dating some other guy, but still wants you to stay close to her and be her friend. She calls you only when depressed or to share problems, or after a fight with her boyfriend. And when she calls, she strictly wants you to leave everything and focus on her.
She always keeps on humming the same tune; “We are good friends” and keeps on filling your ear with “just good friend” stuff every time you talk. She leaves no stone unturned to clarify; Dude, “only good friends”.
She keeps taking advice from you, to woo the guy she likes. And rather chit chatting about you, she keeps on talking non-stop about “That” guy. You are not even near her consideration radar, then my friend, without a doubt you are a victim of the friend zone.
How to avoid friend zone:-
“Prevention is always better than cure“. It stands true when it comes to friend zone. Always try to avoid it before you start seeking ways to get out of it. If anytime you fall victim for above-mentioned alerts, then hold your horses right there.
1. Be truthful with your feelings for her.
If you have started developing feelings for her, then be blunt about it. Don’t make her feel like a friend. Don’t over think; how she will react, what if you lose her.
Accept the fact you didn’t approach her because you wanted to be her friend. So stop portraying yourself as her friend. If you still continue to do that, then don’t blame her for the situation you will arrive at.
2. Don’t give her hints that you are okay in being friends too.
Come on! if you are okay in being just her friend, then why you are exploring the way to get out of it and to avoid it. As I said; be straightforward and blunt about your feelings. Don’t be an “okay in everything” guy. It’s either black or white. That’s it.
You need to move on if being a friend is creating inner conflicts and you don’t see any hope to slip your heart into her.
3. Stop being her girl-friend.
Marc Summers explained this difference between girlfriend and girl-friend beautifully in his article. Stop being her girl-friend hoping you will explore a way of her heart. This is not going to happen.
This is a suicide. Don’t be a guy who:
– doesn’t mind joining gossip sessions with her.
– love to carry handbags when she shops.
– always keep his heart on sleeves and brain at home.
– can point out the difference between; brick-red and blood-red nail paints.
4. Control your emotions and thoughts.
Don’t show your cards in one go. Keep a watch on your thoughts and emotions, don’t let your heart pour everything out. Stop riding on a wild brain the moment you find that you aren’t able to divert emotions towards a right direction.
Always keep some space for maturity and practicality, don’t get overstuffed with emotions. Get a clear picture of your situation and chances before igniting a lamp of love in yourself.
How to get out of the friend zone fast?
So let’s say even after all the alerts and warning, you couldn’t stop yourself hitting the dead-zone. However, trust me the story doesn’t end here, there’s still hope left for you.
There are ways to get out of the friend-zone. It won’t be a cakewalk, but nothing can stop you to attain happiness you deserve if you have strong will and determination.
1. Stop being her shoulder man.
It’s as clear as it’s written, you don’t have to offer your shoulder every time she gets upset or depressed. Don’t act as if you are the only one who cares and bearing the burden of her responsibilities.
Stop slipping your shoulder under her head almost all the time. If you are still doing this, then don’t be surprised if you get caught into “friends-forever” web.
2. Stop compromising with your self-respect.
If you are not liking anything or not comfortable in something, tell her on her face.
Don’t let her treat you the way she wants. You need to have a personal opinion for yourself. You don’t have to bear anything hoping she will value your efforts and generosity “one- day”. Be a man and have some self-respect.
3. Work on your self-esteem.
This is the main issue which gets you in the friend-zone. People with low self-esteem often fall for almost everything.
– She treats me bad, but it’s okay, perhaps it’s my mistake only.
– She is right, perchance I am not good enough for her.
– I can’t imagine my life without her. So, I am okay with being her friend too.
Definitely, you are suffering from low self-esteem issues if you fall into the above-mentioned category. You need to work on it and should realize your self-importance. You should stop seeing yourself as a victim.
4. Restrain from doing over-the-top things for her.
If you are doing almost everything to woo her, then stop it. You don’t need to give her the reasons to like you or to fall for you. Where there is a genuine fondness, you don’t need reasons to make her fall for you.
This will not serve your purpose for a long term. If she is falling for you, then she doesn’t need any other reasons besides having a true affection for you.
5. Stop being available to her 24×7.
This is the biggest mistake you can do when friend-zoned. You don’t have to be available for her every time she wants you. Don’t feel shy telling her that you are busy.
You don’t have to leave everything else aside because she wants you to. You are doing the biggest blunder if you are doing this only to make her feel more important. She will start taking you for granted and will never realize your importance.
6. Stop revolving your life entirely around her.
You don’t need to wake up and sleep with the same thoughts of her every day. You need to realize there’s lot more to life than thinking and fantasizing about her. This certainly will draw you towards stress and will spoil your relation with others also.
Start some hobby, go out with friends and keep yourself occupied with other things as well rather than giving her all the space in your mind. Learn to balance everything and to make a perfect coordination with every area of life. Stop crowning her as ‘life’, when she is only a little part of life.
7. Accept the facts and situations. Don’t believe in maybe’s or if’s.
If she has told you that she can’t think of you more than as a friend than accept it and move on. Don’t live with false hope, that one day she will miraculously fall for you or start emitting the same vibes.
Don’t wait for a sudden shift of heart, instead accept it bravely and stop expecting anything else. There’s no reason you should stay as a friend when you see her more than that. You can’t force other to feel the same way as you do. Better accept it and live a life full of peace.
8. Stop wooing her whole day.
There’s a minute difference between sincere appreciation and licking the feet. And very few understands it. Compliment her when you mean it or when she deserves it. Don’t be a guy, who doesn’t miss even complimenting her for her choice of lipsticks and nail paints. Girls are very wise to differentiate sincere and fake appreciations.
You don’t have to woo a girl whole day long. Don’t keep your tongue stick to her feet the whole time, pretending they taste phenomenal.
9. Stop being a “Yes-man” to her.
This might be a big reason that girl friend-zoned you. Girls don’t like a guy who is okay with everything. Girls love a guy, who has personal opinions and also doesn’t mind contradicting her when he is right.
Stop responding with a “yes” every time. Don’t mind telling her your viewpoints and honest thoughts. Confront her when she has done something wrong. Don’t give a nod to everything.
10. Stop seeking acceptance from her.
You are dressed in your finest suit today, and also wore your elite perfume. Almost everyone is complimenting you when you left home to meet her. But, the moment you meet her; you start seeking her approval and get conscious. Stop doing it.
Live your life as you want, do everything you love, stop restricting your life only for the sake of her. It’s your life, and you have all the right to live it your way. Stop seeking approval from her in everything. Only you can judge yourself. Be your own critic.
11. Get to involve yourself with other girls as well.
Don’t restrict yourself to one person solely. This holds true even in general life also. Never depend on one person for all your needs, always have few more friends and acquaintances. People change with time.
So, when friend-zoned, don’t restrict yourself to only one person. Befriend other girls too, go out with them and talk to them, who knows you will end up with your destined girl.
12. Don’t settle for less than you think you deserve.
Don’t go head over heels merely out of attraction. You are aware that she doesn’t treat you well. She doesn’t give a damn about you. But still, you are taking your chances because “she is smoking hot”, and you don’t mind even being ‘just’ friends with her.
If that is the case, you are digging a hole for yourself. You are settling for less than what life has planned for you.
13. Stop telling her every minute detail of yourself and your life.
Don’t let anyone know you completely, always leave little space for some more surprises in you. Subconsciously, we are giving them the charge of our life when we tell and share everything. We are giving them the right to handle us the way they want.
Being honest has nothing to do with being completely open about yourself. Don’t make things so easy for them, let them explore you by themselves. If she is genuinely interested in you, she will get to know you by herself. If not, then move to point no. 7.
14. Let her miss you.
Even after being friend-zoned, don’t stick to her for whole day long. Stop texting or calling her for few days. It’s true everybody needs some space to breathe. Everybody loves the cheese, as long as it’s not sticking to their teeth.
Give her a chance to miss you, let her feel the difference when you are not there. At times, absence can do wonders which your presence can’t do. However, don’t do this with the intention of the “hope” or to make her realize anything. Do this for yourself and to deal with this friend zone.
15. Stop being her savior all the time.
Fact: If you really had a solution for everything, then you wouldn’t have landed in the friend zone at first place. So instead of being a superhero to her, first look out for a solution for yourself. You are not responsible for every problem of her life. So, let her handle few problems on her own.
And, every person can deal with their problem. Don’t go through all the ways to find out a solution and answers for everything. It’s not a big deal for her to handle few issues on her own. Rather, focus on escaping from this dead-zone alive.
Have you ever been in friend zone? Of course you have.
Don’t be shy, comment below with your experiences and let’s have some chit-chat.
It’s time to give helping hands to our brothers and make this world a better place for men.
I’m Harsh Yadav, the face behind GoFameUs.I find my love in many things but particularly in Motivational books and inspirational stories and also in my German Shepard dog “shadow”. Want to know more about me? Visit About me page.
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